Even though The Wanted had now split up, Max George didn’t think he would ever hate anyone as much as One Direction, especially cocky Zayn Malik. Zayn had become a very vocal young man on Twitter and his feud with Max had attracted a great deal of attention. Although it had died down, it was about to get ramped up a gear. Max decided this irritant needed taking down a peg or two. He decided now, just when Zayn thought he was safe, was the perfect time to exact his revenge.
Unfortunately for Max, he was no saint himself and also deserved to have some karma thrown in his direction. Whilst Max’s former bandmates wanted to see Zayn get his just desserts, they also liked the idea of Max suffering too. As such, both young men were invited to an abandoned warehouse in their best designer gear. They were very confused when they rolled up and were livid to see the other person there and couldn’t resist making digs at one another. They were so concerned with their petty feud that they did not realise they were walking into a trap until it was too late and they both plummeted down a trapdoor in the warehouse.
They plunged into a huge vat of custard which immediately wrecked their suave images and left them flailing around in the gloop. As Zayn writhed around, one of his loose flip flops was lost, meaning his left bare foot was fully exposed. The two of them clambered out and Zayn screamed at Max, believing this to be his doing. Clocking a nearby mirror, Zayn began adjusting his hair to try and get his famed hairstyle back to its former glory, with mixed results since it was so ridden with custard.
Max’s white shirt was covered in stains and he was furious with Zayn. He went to grab him but plummeted through another trapdoor and landing with a thud in a baking tray. Zayn noticed some controls nearby and realised he could have some fun and so took a seat, pressing a button which unleashed eggs, milk, flour and other gloop all over a helpless Max until the baking tray was almost full.
Max was nothing more than a blob of goo now. The gloop seeped everywhere and his hair was sticking out all over the place. Every time he tried to stand, he slid over and plunged into the slop again. He let out an enraged scream at Zayn as the cocky boyband member pressed a button labelled ‘Whisk’.
Max stared in horror as a huge mechanical whisk dropped into the dense baking tray and began whirring him about. He went flying, comically whacking his head on the side of the tray whilst being covered in a fresh layer of gloop. His stinky loafers went flying in all directions, leaving him just in his cheesy bare feet, whilst his hair was tattier than ever. By the end of it, the heartthrob was dazed, confused and incredibly messy.
Now the sludgy cake batter was ready, it was time for Max to go in the oven. Zayn whacked up the temperature so the sludge congealed around his rival. His clothes were not able to withstand the heat so disintegrated partially into rags, so that Max resembled a peasant. Finally, he was wheeled out and lifted up so Zayn could get a look at him. Max managed to prise himself out of the main body of the batter but was still caked in the stuff from his head to his stinky toes.
As Zayn cockily laughed, Max shoved a cream pie in his face and tackled him into a pair of foot stocks. He discarded his remaining flip flop and took out a father, manically tickling Zayn with it so he squealed and shrieked like a girl. Even before he tickled them, Max could see the sweat pouring of Zayn’s feet and mocked him for it, saying he obviously didn’t take care of himself very well in that department. Zayn spat back that Max’s were no better.
‘Let’s put that to the test, shall we?’ said Max who, despite being ashamed of his stinky feet, was keen to use them as a weapon. He shoved his cheesy feet in Zayn’s face and watched as the young man looked as though he would throw up, belching and retching from the cheesy stench. He had never smelt anything so rancid in all his life.
As Zayn recovered from this, Max decided to mess him up some more. He started by emptying a bucket of blue paint over his head before following this with treacle, molasses and cream. Zayn’s precious hair took the brunt of the punishment and Zayn’s heart was racing as he contemplated whether or not his precious locks would be salvageable. He convinced himself that they would. He loved his hair more than anything or anyone in the world and couldn’t imagine his life without them. Max saw his concern and laughed before rubbing the gloop deeper into Zayn’s hair.
Max then made a foolish mistake by deciding Zayn had learnt his lesson and releasing him, telling him to go home and get cleaned up, but Zayn was seeing red now – nobody messed with his hair! He lunged at Max and they both tumbled into a vat of oatmeal, which engulfed them from head to toe. Max battled to get out but Zayn yanked his boxers up into a painful wedgie before smashing two pies into his face like a sandwich.
Max managed to scramble out but Zayn was hot on his heels and soon cornered his rival and threw a bucket of snotty gunge over him before dunking his head into a vat of stinky cheese fondue, which Zayn remarked at least smelt more pleasant than Max’s horrific feet. Max responded by grabbing the nearest pie and smashing it into Zayn’s face, though it just happened to be a manure pie which repulsed Zayn.
As Zayn gagged (not for the first time that day), Max chucked two buckets of gunge over him before pushing him backwards into a vat of molasses. As Zayn struggled to get to the surface, Max found exactly what he was looking for: a nearby hair shaver. It was time to get the ultimate revenge on this arrogant little diva.
Zayn managed to haul himself out of the vat, only to immediately be met by Max who dragged him over to a barber’s chair. Before Zayn knew what was going on, a shaver was plunged into his precious locks. All the pleading and blubbering in the world wasn’t going to stop Max exacting his revenge as he lopped off Zayn’s fringe off in an instant before zooming the shaver round to rid him of everything else until he had a thuggish buzz cut.
As Zayn cried and wailed, Max was not content with this and so used shaving cream and a razor to remove any trace of Zayn’s hair before rubbing it with a towel until he had a squeaky clean, bald head – a clear juxtaposition to the rest of the messy young man. Zayn had now lost his greatest asset – it couldn’t have gone much worse for him.
Both young men had had a hard time but it seemed Max had won Round 1. It didn’t seem likely that a blubbering Zayn would let his rival get away with this though. It seemed this feud was still to be continued...